In February 1842, while serving as a Member of the Illinois House of Representatives, Abraham Lincoln wrote a deeply emotional letter to his close friend Joshua Speed. Speed had recently married Fanny Henning, and Lincoln, now separated from his dear friend, faced the painful reality that Speed would not be returning to Illinois.
In this poignant letter, Lincoln expresses his sorrow and sense of loss:
“ I feel somewhat jealous of both of you now; you will be so exclusively concerned for one another, that I shall be forgotten entirely—“ “I regret to learn that you have resolved to not return to Illinois— I shall be very lonesome without you— How miserably things seem to be arranged in this world— If we have no friends, we have no pleasure; and if we have them, we are sure to lose them, and be doubly pained by the loss— I did hope she and you would make your home here; but I own I have no right to insist”
Lincoln closes the letter with the words "Yours Forever," a significant phrase that he did not use in his later letters to his wife, Mary Todd. This closing, combined with the letter’s contents, highlights the depth of Lincoln’s feelings for Speed and the close emotional bond they shared.
John Nicolay, Lincoln's White House Secretary from 1861 to 1865, traveled to Springfield, Illinois in the summer of 1875 to conduct research for a biography of Abraham Lincoln. During his visit, Nicolay interviewed William Butler, one of Lincoln’s earliest mentors. Butler had encouraged a young Lincoln to study law and was a key figure in his development during their time together in the Illinois State Legislature.
Before moving to Washington D.C., Lincoln frequently dined at Butler's home, where Mrs. Butler would wash and mend his clothes. Butler also helped Lincoln financially, once covering a significant debt that Lincoln owed.
When Lincoln first moved to Springfield in 1837, Butler offered him a place to stay, as Butler owned a type of boarding house, often referred to as an 'Inn.' Lincoln declined Butler's offer and went on to share a bed with Joshua Speed for four years.
These notes, written by Nicolay in 1875, detail Butler's account.
“I said to him 'I have had (your saddle bags) brought down here, and have had your clothes taken out and washed. Now I want you to come down here, and board here and make my house your home.'"
At 22 years old, Abraham Lincoln moved away from his father and settled in New Salem, Illinois, in 1831. Shortly after, he met Billy Greene, a young man just a year his junior. Like Lincoln, Greene was interested in reading and grammar, and the two quickly formed a strong bond. Recollections from the time suggest that they were inseparable.
The two eventually found work together at Denton Offett’s general store, where they also lived, sharing the back storage area. For a year and a half, they shared a cot. Their close friendship and living arrangement have drawn attention from historians.
This letter from Lincoln’s law partner and biographer, William Herndon, details Herndon's conversation with Billy Greene. In this letter, Greene recalls Lincoln’s physical appearance, notably remarking that “his thighs were as perfect as a human being could be.” This comment has intrigued scholars, particularly in the context of 19th-century cultural norms. Historians such as famed sex researcher Alfred Kinsey and his colleague Clarence Tripp have noted the prevalence of “femoral intercourse” during this period. Greene’s compliment about Lincoln’s thighs could be interpreted as significant, as references to the thighs were often suggestive of sexual attraction, similar to compliments about the backside in modern contexts.
In the summer of 1862, Abraham Lincoln and his family moved to the Soldier's Home, located four miles outside of Washington, D.C., to find some respite from the pressures of the city. The Soldier’s Home was situated on the grounds of a military hospital and served as a retirement home for wounded veterans.
During their time there, Lincoln was assigned a security detail led by Captain David Derickson and his Bucktail Soldiers. According to multiple witnesses, including Derickson’s superior officer, Lt. Col. Thomas Chamberlin, when Mrs. Lincoln was away, the President and Captain Derickson would sometimes share a bed. Derickson was also seen wearing the president’s nightshirts on occasion.
In the diary entry shown below, Virginia Woodbury Fox, the wife of Lincoln’s Assistant Secretary of the Navy, Gustavus Fox, recounts hearing about the closeness between Lincoln and Captain Derickson. Fox notes:
“Tish says there is a Bucktail soldier here devoted to the President, drives with him, and when Mrs. L is not home, sleeps with him. 'What stuff!'”
There are numerous accounts suggesting that Abraham Lincoln had little interest in women. It was not a matter of shyness or fear, but rather a lack of inclination toward pursuing romantic relationships with them. Below are several quotes from letters collected by Lincoln’s law partner and biographer, William Herndon, which reflect the observations of those who knew Lincoln personally:
“Abe did not much like the girls. He did not seem to seek the company of girls—was rather backwards.” — David Turnham's interview with William Herndon, 1865
“Abe did not much go with the girls. Didn’t like girls much—too frivolous.” — Anna Gentry's letter to William Herndon
“He didn’t go see the girls much. He didn’t appear bashful but it seemed as if he cared but little of them.” — N.W. Branson's letter to William Herndon
“He was never fond of girls it seemed to me.” — Sarah Bush Lincoln (Lincoln’s stepmother)
These statements, taken from individuals close to Lincoln, suggest that while he was not timid around women, he simply did not seek their company or express a strong interest in romantic pursuits with them.
